A story on what it's like to misunderstand & understood month of Honor.

(8-12 minute read)

Hello, to all who decide to read and connect with this post. 

This particular Blog post will carry a different energy than some of my other post here on ZenVen Open Talk. This particular post will show a brief  view of what if feels like to be a Women of Color who doesn't truly understand Black History Month. The Trauma, the emotions, the feelings of frustration of not feeling understood around the significance of Black History Month.

This next passage you will read, comes with a lot of depth, emotion and a small bit of vulnerability in regards to my race.. 

This blog post was a hard one to try and navigate through, I wanted to feel this connection to Black History Month. I wanted to not feel these lower vibrational energies around something that was supposed to make me feel honored, yet I didn't.. and even though I wasn't able to make the connection at first, I still found a way to connect and offer healing to myself and others through my words. Although creating this post was challenging and I faced a lot of blocks, I want to present this heartfelt blog post of what it's like to not understand Black History Month as a Women of Color in America.. and with all that said here goes.. 

As each day passed through the month of February; I debated on whether I would post something for “Black History Month” due to me not believing that the world is or ever was just black and white.. there’s an immense amount of diversity to what the standards of society seem to classify as our race.. 

But as February came to close, I found myself more and more eager to speak.. to say something, but I had a lot of resistance.. 

As I thought about “Black History Month” I felt frustrated, angry, sad, and slightly misunderstood.. 

You may wonder why these lower vibrational energies were being displayed? Well for most People of Color the trauma behind a day, week, or month of recognition is far too real. 

We tend to feel a bit of PTSD, for ourselves, our loved ones, the ethnic collective, but most of all our ancestors.. The battle it must’ve been just to obtain a given birth right.. the ability to exist, and fulfill our life’s purpose/s. 

This analyzation of my feelings and thoughts around Black History Month made me understand this is why these times of recollection carry a heaviness to them. Some people of color have a hard time appreciating these time, because we can feel the pain, the trauma behind our lineage, the suffering; but it’s through the midst of our inherited and personal pain we realize that even if the month is labeled in a way we as People of Color would want to be seen or recognized as, we realize the blessings it is to exist in a society that is slowly beginning to realize the trauma we as a ethnic people have gone through.

I finally understood my pain.. the lack of understanding around "Black History Month". I felt as if it was up to me to break through the barrier and help my people to say it's okay we may not feel that this is how we should be honored, but let's regain our power from "Black History Month" and allow ourselves to be seen and give honor to those ethnic ancestors who would've dreamt of a month that honored them.. And with that said,  I want to take this time to acknowledge the current month we were in “Black History Month” and although the race reference of “Black” to me represents a terminology used to reference People of Color in a derogatory way, I have since realized it’s time to release that version of me and progress in the beauty of being able to thank all those determined and empowered Women & Men of Color who truly did pave the way for many others and me to have access to what was our given birth right, FREEDOM! 

Today as I write this Blog Post I feel honored to have these People of Color spiritually behind me.. Helping me to believe that my dreams can be a reality. My life can be lived in abundance and peace; but most of all my "Woman of Color owned company can and will be successful. 

As Harriet Tubman once said "every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

In closing, I want to truly show my appreciation to all the empowered and strong Women of Color who came before me; I want to say thank you. Thank you for helping me to believe as a small girl, to a now woman to believe in myself and my abilities.. 

I will forever keep on DREAMING.